Jokes: Keep Smiling

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Indian Politician:”We are sending Indians to the moon next year .”

American Politician :How Many?”

Indian Politician :”We are planning to send 100 people.The break up is :25 OBCs,25 SCs, 20 STs, 5 handicapped , 5 sport persons , 5 Kashmiri Migrants , 9 politicians , 5 terrorist- affected , 1 astronaut if possible ….provided he gets a place to sit .

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PRIYANKA: Where is Bill today?

Belinda: In bed, Miss.

PRIYANKA: What’s the matter with him? Is he ill?

Belinda: We were having a competition to see who could lean out of the window farthest and Bill won the competition.

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First boy: My father is afraid of crossing the road.

Second boy: What makes you say that?

First boy: You don’t know what he does! He always holds my hand while crossing the road.

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Man (to a boy): Why are you putting your hand in my pocket?

Boy: I wanted to take your pen.

Man: Can’t you ask for it?

Boy: I don’t talk to strangers.

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Jailor (to a prisoner): What’s your problem?

Prisoner: I cannot find my way out of this jail.

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Police officer: Why did you steal the watch?

Thief: I did not steal it. The man gave it to me.

Police officer: Oh, really? When did he give it to you?

Thief: When I showed him the gun!

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Teacher : I asked you to draw a cow that is eating grass but you’ve only drawn the cow. Where is the grass?

Pupil: Ma’am, the cow ate up all the grass!

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Teacher : Can you tell me what is steam ?

Student : Oh Ma’am it is water gone crazy because of the heat .

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Several bats are resting , all upside down as usual , except for one bat which is facing up . The group leader approaches it and asks worriedly:

” Hey man ,is anything wrong ?

“No everything is fine .I’m just doing yoga .

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In bed , the husband asks his young bride , “Darling ,tell me I ‘m the first man in your life .”

She looks at him and answers , ” You could be …you do look familiar !”

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The lady painting a picture in the middle of the field asked the farmer : ” I hope I ‘m not disturbing you ?”

The farmer :” On the contrary ! I was actually in the need of a scarecrow to ward off the birds !”

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Source:From The Telegraph Kids Corner

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