Working Women Earn, but Can’t Spend!

A number of Afghan women complained of having no or a limited right in the affairs of their home economic management and this creates a big problem for them. These women also maintained that their monthly salary that they receive from their workplace is also not spent by them but by the male members of their family. In fact, it’s not them who will decide where, how and why to spend the money but the male family members who take all these decisions.

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Some of these working women even complained of what they called ‘strict monitoring from their male family members on their salary and the amount they receive’ and get control of the money once it is in their home.

An aged lady who didn’t want to be named and works in a hospital gets 5000 Afghanis (Currency) a month but at the end of the month when she gets the salary she has to give it to her husband. This woman says that when she gets the product of one month of her toil she spends it with the consensus of her husband. She said, “I clean, cook, prepare tea and serve the coming guests with water or juice.” She added, “I receive 5000 Afghanis (Equivalent to $100) and give it to my husband. He spends it on family needs. My salary is spent by my husband’s authority because he is the elder of our house. My husband asks me if my salary has come within time and I tell him be patient it’s coming soon.”

Some of these women believe that this condition leaves a negative impact on them and even puts their life at risk. They say depression is one of the ugly products of such a condition. According to them the strict behavior of men usually ends up in family tension.

Zamarud (not the real name) is a woman working in a governmental department. She said that her husband takes hold of her salary by force and spends it as per his own wishes. This attitude of her husband, according to her, has created a permanent tension and depression for her.

Zamarud said, “When I receive my salary, my husband spends every penny of it. He spends on what he wants. I can’t spend my money on myself and my son.” She added, “I work hard for a month, then all my earning goes to my husband’s pocket whatever he wants he does to it. This disappoints me greatly. All this has caused a Psychological problem for me.” Zamarud continued, “I work from the morning to afternoon. When I come back I do all the house chores. In addition, I cook to avoid clashes with anyone in the family.” She complained that this condition sometimes causes her to become angry and emotional but to save her married life, she keeps silence.

Zamarud says that as an educated woman she likes to spend her hard won salary on her husband, herself and her child the way she wants but her husband ignores all this.

Zamarud further added, “When I get my salary, my husband calls me and asks me whether I have gotten my salary or not?” He says, “Bring it, I need it’. Zamarud prayed, “May God mend these men and guide them not to be cruel on women. We are also human beings. We’ve rights, we’ve got educated. We want to benefit from our education.”

Although most afghan men believe that women are better managers at spending and home management, Wali Nangyalay Aslamizadah is one such man who doesn’t agree with them.

Wali says, “If men earn, they give their money to their wives very happily. Why don’t women also do the same? They should spend their money happily on their husband and children so that there should be no room for grabbing their earnings by force.”

According to the sociologists, unemployment and high rate of poverty in families are the major factors for family tensions. Lack of awareness in families is also a factor in family problems which also includes the financial factor.