TERROR ATTACK AT INDO PAK CRICKET MATCH--- HA HA HA

INDIA PAKISTAN SEMI FINAL—SENSATIONAL STORY

Intelligence agencies have received secret information that a terrorist strike at Mohali is being planned in the caves of one of our neighbouring countries.. Naturally these ‘ intel’ agencies sought an urgent meeting with Home Ministry for detailed discussions on how to handle the threat.

INDIA PAKISTAN SEMI FINAL—SENSATIONAL STORY

I have access to what is transpiring at this meeting—that is taking place on 24 hour basis without any break at an underground chamber somewhere in New Delhi. You may call these leaks as’ Alphonso leaks’ since these are made available to me courtesy my Chennai based private detective Alphonso. This gent has a mole inside the union government who is so important that he is invited to any meeting that discusses security matters.

The officials present at the meeting include an IAS man from the Home Ministry[IASM] an IPS officer from the Intelligence bureau [IPSB] ,a RAW official.

The chief argument of the IASM was as follows.

“ The terrorists will know that we are now fully prepared ,what after the 26/11 experience. So it is least likely that they will do anything at Mohali. So there is no need for additional security arrangements. Moreover our PM has invited the PM and President of Pakistan for the match. Do you think terrorists will harm so many dignitaries?”

IPSB:The terrorists may think that since after 26/11 we will be no doubt very smart.They may also reason that since we know that they know that we are smart there is every possibility that we will not make any special arrangements. Hence they may well conclude that since we have lowered our guard it may well be the right time to strike’

IASM : If they think as you suggest and decide that we may have lowered our guard and it is time to attack then they may even think that since we suspect that they will attack us due to our lowering of guard, then they are smart enough to think that due to our suspicion of their thoughts of attacking us we will make special arrangements for security . Once they suspect that we will make special arrangements they will decide not to strike. Hence there is no need for special arrangements.

At this point it was decided to take down the minutes of the meeting .The spy chief took out his pen which had red ink. The IASM raised serious objection to the use of red ink which was the prerogative of IAS officers of the rank of Jt. Secretary only. So the spy chief who was of Dy Secy rank took out another pen—this time it had turquoise ink. The IPSB man was upset since it was only IAAS auditors who could use this ink. There was an intense debate on this till a certain MEA official who was an MBA suggested that a ‘felt’ pen of unidentifiable ink be used since there was a ‘felt’ need for minutes of the meeting.

The discussion on security arrangements continued along the same confused lines as earlier till a five minute break was ordered and the official paanwalla was asked to come in. This man was on the approved list of the government and had been waiting outside the room for days .

The meeting started on 24th and was still going on, on 30 th march –the day of the Indo Pak match , still inconclusive.

At about 10.30 pm on the day of the match Alphonso smssed me.

‘Sir please use your lateral thinking ability and suggest a way out of the dead end these guys have reached’

I suggested that he ask the paanwalla for a means to break the logjam.

The paanwalla said ‘What is this pusur pusur going on for several days ? Why don’t you Alphonso saab send an SMS to all those present at the meeting? I have been keeping myself updated on the score through my mobile phone.Here is the latest score.’

I was glued to the TV and knew what the paanwalla might have said.

The sms which Alphonso sent to the people at the meeting read ’ Match has ended in a tie. There was no incident barring a mid field skirmish between R Ashwin and Afridi. Ashwin asserted that Chicken 65 at Buhari’s hotel at Chennai was the best in the Indian subcontinent whereas Afridi shot back that chicken at Hotel Light of Asia at Kandahar was far better. Dhoni dragged Ashwin away saying that he ought not to make such comments since he ate nothing other than murugan iddlis.’

The paanwalla is now an aide of the Home Ministry in the rank of Dy Secretary and uses felt pen of indeterminate ink.

K.R.RAVI

WWW.KRRAVI.COM

30 MARCH 2011