Sex in Alaska? The Bristol Palin Absentee-Only Baby

This one is not a rumor.

Sarah Palin’s 17-year old unmarried daughter, Bristol Palin, is five-month pregnant.

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For those who still haven’t caught up with the news, Sarah Palin is the Vice-presidential running mate of Senator John McCain. She is the conservative Governor of Alaska.

Yes. Teens have sex, even in Alaska. Who would have thought?

In such a cold place? Wow.

Where do Alaska teens learn that from? Watching bears do it?

As expected, Sarah Palin quickly reminded us that her daughter, Bristol, is keeping the baby –as if she had any other option that is not criminal and abominable in the eyes of the Palins.

Oh, just in case we were wondering what would happen next, she informed us that her daughter would wed the father of her son, Levi.

Preferably on the White House lawns, I guess.

Won’t that be wonderful?

Sarah Palin would teach creationist in school but not evolution. She would ban abortion but wouldn’t teach sex education. She is an absentee only kind of conservative even when studies after studies have proved that against teenage hormones it does not work.

The morning after pill? Don’t even go there. Who knows, our Hockey Mom may not even permit the use of contraception.

Meanwhile, the Palins are proud that they would be grandparents soon.

We got to know about all these after Internet bloggers began to circulate rumors that Sarah’s baby, Trig, was actually her daughter’s baby. That she faked pregnancy to cover up for her daughter.

As it is now, there are talks of respecting privacy of the kids and the families. Don’t you wish Jamie Lynn Spears had that?

We don’t care about the details but we are bound to know them. We will eventually know who the Levi boy is, how old he is, where he met our beautiful Bristol and by some luck, how he learnt to do it.

John McCain’s spokesman said, “Life happens.” I think he meant to say, shit happens.

I think it is very reassuring to hear conservative leaders line up to say that we are all sinners, we all make mistakes and we have all fallen short of the glory of the Lord.

We? All? Sinner?

Does that include me? Does that include Barack Obama? Does that include you?

In his reaction, James Dobson, the founder of the conservative group, Focus on the Family issued a statement saying: "Being a Christian does not mean you're perfect. Nor does it mean your children are perfect. But it does mean there is forgiveness and restoration when we confess our imperfections to the Lord."

Can I get an Amen to that?