People, listen up! Tom Cruise can go onto any talk show that he wants to!
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Question: Should Tom Cruise go onto Oprah again?
My answer: Hell yeah!
At this time, I would like to send a shout out to Gretchen Wilson and to all of those redneck girls like her "keepin' it country!"
Cause she's a redneck woman
She ain't no high class broad
She's just a product of her raisin'
And she says "hey y'all" and "yee haw"
And she keeps her Christmas lights on, on her front porch all year long
And she knows all the words to every Tanya Tucker song
So here's to all her sisters out there keepin' it country
Let her get a big "Hell Yeah" from the redneck girls just like her
Hell Yeah!
Hell Yeah!
I said, hell yeah!
Sing it, country girl!
God, I just love that song, Redneck Woman!
Anyhoo, back to the show.
Alot of people think that after making a total jackass of himself the last time that he went onto Oprah that he should NEVER appear on her talk show again but I totally disagree.
I personally think that Tom Cruise should not only go onto Oprah but any talk show that he wants to.
I mean just as long as Tom doesn't do any of the following things, homeboy will be just fine.
P.S. I'm calling Tom a homeboy because his adopted son, Connor is Black thereby giving him some street cred in the Black community.
Anyhoo, back to the show.
-As long as Tom doesn't jump on a couch, chair, ottoman, canopy bed or trampoline for the rest of his life on Oprah or any other talk show, homeboy will be just fine.
-As long as Tom doesn't dance around in neon-yellow granny panties to Bob Seger's, "Old Time Rock n' Roll" on Oprah, homeboy will be just fine.
-As long as Tom doesn't put 9 inch lifts into his shoes to compensate for being short like he should have done when he was married to Nicole Kidman on Oprah, homeboy will be just fine.
-As long as Tom doesn't show naked pictures of his teenage children, Connor and Bella when they were 2 years old there's basically no chance that his kids will murder him for doing such a stupid and embarrassing thing on Oprah, homeboy will be just fine.
-As long as Tom doesn't stage a Dawson's Creek reunion by secretly inviting James Van Der Beek, Joshua Jackson, Michelle Williams or Kevin Williamson onto Oprah and asking them to sing the show's theme song, "I don't want to wait" by Paula Cole, homeboy will be just fine.
-As long as Tom doesn't say he now has personal knowledge of what it's like to give birth, have menstrual cramps and stretch marks and try to cure them with 600 situps and 12 Flintstone vitamins on Oprah, homeboy will be just fine.
-As long as Tom doesn't reintroduce into the American lexicon corny "old school" words like "swell", "dungarees" or "glib" on Oprah, homeboy will be just fine.
And last but not least............
-As long as Tom doesn't try to shove L. Ron Hubbard, scientology, dianetics and that stinky-ass movie, "Battlefield Earth" down our respective throats on Oprah, homeboy will be just fine.
P.S. Hey Tom, always remember that it is acceptable to shove "The Bible" down our throats but not any of the above.
Anyhoo, back to the show.
And people do you want to know why homeboy will be fine?
Answer: Because he's Tom "freakin" Cruise! One of the biggest movie stars of all time! And since he is one of the biggest moneymakers in entertainment history his crazy-ass can get away with this shit, so deal with it!
