Fate of an Indian Man!

Joru ka Gulam vs. Maa ka Laadla

All the characters in the article are fictitious and bear no resemblance to any living character. Any such resemblance whatsoever is purely co-incidental.

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Jigar is the only child of his parents, brought up in a typical Indian household wherein the father is the breadwinner and the mother the homemaker. As a child, he spent more time with his mother and got attached with her more than his father. Often, his father’s friends would come at their place to play cards. Sometimes even Jigar used to be with them and he would see his father being bullied by his friends as “Joru ka Gulaam (Wife’s slave)”.

Young Jigar’s budding personality and psyche had a deep impact from these words. Because, though they were jokes cracked by his father’s friend, Jigar would see his father’s embarrassed face – as if caught, “Red-handed”. It created a story in his mind that being labeled, “Joru ka Gulam” is a bad thing and very demeaning and unbecoming of a man.

He was confused. On one hand, he loved his mother so much and on the other hand, there was his father, devastated for listening to his wife – the same woman.

As he grew up and went to college, he got a girlfriend. As he opened up with her and told her about his mother, her first reaction was, “Oh, you are mama’s boy!”

The statement hit Jigar like a thunder in a lightening. For the first time in his life, he came to know that his love for his mother is not acceptable to the other woman in his life – his girlfriend.

Jigar’s story is not a one-off. This is a tale-de-life for many a men in the today’s society.

And just then, he came across this article by Shalini Sengupta titled, “A man should talk to mum but listen to his wife” which not only questions but also subdues the love of a mother and a son and calls it interference in a son’s married life but at the same time the author is silent on the interference of the daughter’s (read wife’s) mother in her marriage – passed off as mother’s love for a daughter.

Is a mother-daughter love valid but not a mother-son love? Why this bias against men?

Feminists have always designed “Weapons of Male Destruction (WMD)” either by ways of anti-male and unconstitutional laws or through such attitudes like, “Joru ka Gulam”, “Maa ka Laadla”, etc. wherein both are pitted as equally demeaning for men.

If the man listens to his mom, he is tagged as “Mama’s boy”, “Maa Ka Laadla” and if he listens to wife he is tagged as “henpecked”, “Joru ka Ghulam”, etc. And if he doesn’t listen to either he is tagged off as anti-family and irresponsible.

Such pervert social attitudes pitted terribly against men further re-iterate that, “Marriage is a crime for men in India.”