"I Hate My Body"

"I hate the way I look! I hate the way my stomach always wobbles. I hate my large arms and legs. I hate and can't take it anymore..."...Karuna Bhatt had lost 29 kilos, her weight going down from 50 to 21. Sunken cheeks and hollow eyes were telltale signs of anorexia. She was too weak to adjust the intravenous tube beside her bed. But what’s more alarming is that Karuna is a class VIII student, barely 13 years old. She had seen the change in her idol Kareena Kapoor from Omkara to Jab We Met and decided she could do it too. This became an obsession as she logged on to the net and downloaded one diet plan after another. Anorexia Nervosa is a serious, potentially life-threatening eating disorder characterized by self-starvation and excessive weight loss. It involves self-starvation. The body is denied the essential nutrients it needs to function normally, so it is forced to slow down all of its processes to conserve energy. This “slowing down” can have serious medical consequences.

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An anorexic who for years has been doing a 'good job' at being anorexic is hiding in plain sight all the time. She's thin, but not skeletal. According to fashion dictates, she is elegantly lean in a most feminine way.When friends and family see her they often see an attractive, dainty and feminine young woman who, in their eyes, might be a lovely model. She is a bit on the nervous side and does overreact to a few things, they think, but, they continue to themselves, she's still young. She'll outgrow it soon.However, she knows she has begun to build an adult life with others based precariously on an image of herself that is unsupported by her inner world.Inside this young woman is wracked with anxiety. Because her outer appearance is so different from her inner experience she has problems expressing her fears. If she attempts it she is often ignored or discounted. She may even be accused of being stupid for being nervous because she appears to have a good life. She may have what appears to others to be a better life than they, and so her pain is even more difficult to accept or understand.This makes her, already an isolated person, even more isolated. Grief, despair and anxiety become her constant companions.If someone does see a bit through her facade, suggests that she has a mental problem and that it might be a good idea to seek psychotherapy she will often panic. The classic paradoxical thought comes through. "I don't need a psychotherapist. I just need someone to talk to who will listen to me."

I was once very much hyper about how I looked and how much I weighed. I even tried vomiting what I ate. But then my senses told me that I need to accept the way I am. A healthy me would not be as bad. I am utterly upset about the new role-models for our teenage girls. The thin and ultra thin models with nothing to flaunt but lean, curveless figures. Of course, these models and actresses are loved by everyone but the teenagers are too blind to understand why. I guess it is a race of good looks and presentability which defies every aspect of creation.