How the Bachhans Got Me Arrested In the USA

I am glad it is over The wait was agonizing I had chewed off all my nails in my ten fingers and was eying my toes, when the news came. My wife was complaining about my high Blood Pressure, the doctor told me that worry, curry and hurry could kill me. My neighbors noticed that I was fidgeting aimlessly in my garden. The cops eyed me suspiciously as I walked about like a drunk on the Washington streets. I once strayed into the White House lawns and was arrested by the secret service.

I was questioned for ten hours since they suspected I was an Indian spy. In a moment of weakness I confessed that I had managed to get secret information like whether Michelle Obama likes fried chicken and what their dog BO ate for lunch—I was rebuked for gathering such sensitive information They were not satisfied and grilled me further .I tried to convince them that I was among a billion Indians worried about when small ‘B’ would beget a smaller ‘B’. They looked confused. What’s Big B and small B they demanded.

aishwarya abhishek baby e7uSf 65

I told them that if they did not know that this ought not to be in the Secret Service. They spoke to State Department who clarified after talking to the American Ambassador in India that in India anyone roaming about aimlessly is presumed to be deeply worried about the ‘B’ family and police have been advised to leave such people unharmed and even protected against insensitive people from Chennai who are crazy about Rajnikant.

The U.S secret Service decide I was a harmless guy and were about to set me free when President Obama walked in and asked what the fuss was about.

Being a keen observer of Indian politics in general and Tamilnadu politics in particular I did what many politicians in Chennai do—I fell flat at Obama’s feet.

He asked me what brought me to the White House. I showed him the Indian newspaper I was carrying that had the report

Ash Abhy expected to have a baby.

Obama was as excited as I was .He took out his Blackberry and spoke to Manmohan Singh who seemed to have spoken to Maniratnam on the sets of his Ash- Abhy starrer ‘Ravan’. ‘Maniji is it true that Ash and Abhy are having a baby?” asked our PM.

‘No, Prime Minister Saar’ replied the director. ’It so happened that day before yesterday the couple requested that they be allowed to go to their hotel early. Being a man of discipline I asked them why and they replied that they were having a baby. I knew that something was afoot since Ash was bulging in the waist and I had to adjust camera angles .I was happy to let them go, after all we Indians love babies.. The media got wind of this.However saar the next day when the stars turned up for shooting I was surprised, I asked them how was the baby’

‘What baby ?’ they asked

‘You told me you were going early to have a baby’

‘That will take 9 months’ they sang as if it were a duet.

Obama smiled and let me go.

As I was leaving the White House I heard someone tell Obama that Ahmedinejad was on the phone wanting to talk to him.

‘Its extremely urgent Mr.President’ said the secretary.

Relied Obama ‘Tell Ahmedijenad I can’t talk now. Michelle and I are having a baby.’

Reports say that Ash spends several hours in the Gym.My BP is normal.

I asked the editor of the paper why he had misled the public He asked me not to go by headlines alone but to read at least the first paragraph. I did that .This is what it said:

ASH ABHY TO HAVE BABY IN 2010

K.R.RAVI