Hey Miss Universe: If you found the Soldiers, Terrorists, and Torture of Gitmo Fun and Relaxing, You'd LOVE Mexico

Let me begin by informing you I don't generally hang out reading girly blogs. Okay, so maybe I am subscribed to a few, but definitly not the Miss Universe site; however this little suprise was just too juicy to pass up. HEY, Don't laugh, even macho Latino men love to hear the latest chisme.

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So, here's la Sopa: Miss Universe 2008, Dayana Mendoza, recently took a little girly road trip with Miss America 2008, Crystle Stewart to Guantánamo Bay, Cuba. It appears, according to her recently removed blog post, the only problem the two had in Gitmo was someone from the U.S.O. didn't find it necessary to fill them in on the fact that they weren't on Springbreak at Club Med Cuba.

Upon returning from here trip, the Venezuelan beauty had this to say:

This week, Guantánamo!!! It was an incredible experience.

We arrived in Gitmo on Friday and stared going around the town, everybody knew Crystle and I were coming so the first thing we did was attend a big lunch and then we visited one of the bars they have in the base. We talked about Gitmo and what is was like living there. The next days we had a wonderful time, this truly was a memorable trip! We hung out with the guys from the East Coast and they showed us the boat inside and out, how they work and what they do, we took a ride around the land and it was a loooot of fun!

We also met the Military dogs, and they did a very nice demonstration of their skills. All the guys from the Army were amazing with us.

We visited the Detainees camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how the recreate themselves with movies, classes of art, books. It was very interesting.

We took a ride with the Marines around the land to see the division of Gitmo and Cuba while they were informed us with a little bit of history.

The water in Guantánamo Bay is soooo beautiful! It was unbelievable, we were able to enjoy it for at least an hour. We went to the glass beach, and realized the name of it comes from the little pieces of broken glass from hundred of years ago. It is pretty to see all the colors shining with the sun. That day we met a beautiful lady named Rebeca who does wonders with the glasses from the beach. She creates jewelry with it and of course I bought a necklace from her that will remind me of Guantánamo Bay :)

I didn’t want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful.

-Miss Universe 2008, Dayana Mendoza

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The truth is Guantánamo Bay, Cuba is beautiful, it is the U.S. possessed Guantánamo Bay, Cuba terrorist camp that is not. Cuba, itself, is an incredible country which I am sure holds endless amounts of fun and relaxation amongst it's beautiful blue waters, just not to suspected terrorists: the closest they'll get to water is through waterboarding, and I doubt that is very relaxing.

In all fairness, I think, her quote was misinterpreted and lost in translation, either that or the years of hair treatments and massive eye makeup have finally leached into her beauty queen brain and left her with nothing but a teeny, tiny, atrophied sliver of once gray mass. If the latter of the two is the case and she truly did find the soldiers, terrorists, and torturous settings of Gitmo beautiful, fun, and relaxing, please, let me be the first to invite her to Mexico; she'd find our narcos to be an irresistable, breathtaking delight.