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BY: RAJBIR DESWAL
Pugilists,grapplers and musclemen from Haryana surely have been able to use their punches effectively in Beijing. Back in their home state also, they do not miss their mark, if it comes to the arena of pure and earthy humour. Howsoever genuinely made, the compliments are never accepted in right earnest by the Haryanvis. Acknowledge them with gratitude? My foot! If compliments are given to a Haryanvi in a foreign language, they invariably have a negative effect. Even Hindi is phoren to the hardboiled Haryanvi for that matter. If they are extended in the dialect itself, their fate of reception in the right earnest is still unpredicted.
Also, a Haryanvi can, in the first place, never be pampered, for it amounts to some kind of obligation, or ready acceptance of the other side’s endeavours at the effort being recognized and mind you it is not in a Haryanvis grain to oblige someone. If one yields a bit, it becomes a case turned worse. Like if you tell the other, “Congrats you have grown hefty crops this time!” The response could be “ujaar de—uproot them!”
A burly Jat (Remember all Jats are not Haryanvis and all Haryanvis are not Jats) travelling in a bus was pointed by a co-traveller that his turban’s long end (Turrah as they call it) was of a bit more than the desired length. And the Jat retorted as he should, “Don’t you know this turrah is my maror-ka-dalha (a flourishing branch of false ego).”
At this the fellow traveller quibbled, “But Chowdhary I have seen many of your likes being bashed up badly on such gimmickry”. “O’ Well, beaten up I too was, many times, but the branching of the ego (maror) kept pace at double the speed,” said our self-opinionated friend.
Perhaps the reason of compliments not being accepted is that they fail the desired amount of comprehension at the receiver’s end. Or perhaps the Haryanvis are quick to retort with a banter rather than waiting for the grasp of the argument offered. If you begin talking with a Haryanvi with a prefixed nicety like, “Maaf karna Bhai Sahib… (Excuse me Sir…)” the chances are that even before you complete the sentence, you will receive his reply, “Kar diya. Bol (Excused. Now come on!”
It is said of the Haryanvis that they aren’t good even when it comes to begging. An alms beggar would tell the lady of the house almost threatening, “Ghaallai sai ak chaaloon—Do you make the offer or I move ahead?”
A polished Urdu speaking person addressed a Haryanvi as ‘Jenab’—a respectful way of addressing. The latter did not know if it was a nice and respectable calling. He retorted, “You fella, you’d better hurl this abuse and call yourself, your father and your grandfather jenab… whatever!”
If you read all this and react then you are not a Haryanvi and I have not hurt you for the simple reason that Haryanvis are not kind to English as well. Try and call their women ‘madam’ and you will have it. Or tell them, “See you later” and invite, “Pachhai kay ibbai dekh lay—Why later, see me now and here)!”
Speaking in Queen’s Language is Angreji kaatna for a Haryanvi. Remember the famous joke about Kurukshetra University? A scholar from South India assuming that the rickshaw puller might not understand if he asked him to be taken to the ‘University” said , “Amko vishwa-vidyalya jana” Pat came the reply, “Angreji kyoon kaatai sai, nyoon bol ak unabishti jana hai !” At this the scholar said, “Thank you” and our friend retorted, “Thank you koni peesay lyoonga, baith!”—thank you will not do, I will have my price, now be seated.
Not to talk of compliments, even paying back otherwise, can go to nasty extremes with Haryanvis. If you intend giving me a nose up then please don’t read further or atleast cover your olfactory projection. A Haryanvi son informed his father that the bowl their neighbours had borrowed from them had been desecrated as he saw them eating meat in it. “Don’t worry son, when we would borrow their bowl, we will surely eat **** in that!” How shitty!
Photo:http://datastore.rediff.com/images/briefcase/6B6D5D6B675C2E2D2E30/9wdct72ueoflei3g.D.0.DSCN3473.JPG
