Don’t educate your daughter if you want to make her an ideal bahu!
dr.shaliniagam If you want to do something, Do for the poor and helpless.
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE!!
Want to Buy an Authentic Harrier FA2 Fighter Jet for Your Lawn?
What Would You Do If You Had Your Own Country?
When I analyze the failed marriage of my cousin Deepa, I wonder if its her liberal brought up and education, or the conservative attitude of the Indian in-laws that is the actual culprit in breaking her marriage? We might want to take sides and point our fingers at one of the parties, but I think that the actual problem is with neither, but with the pace of development of different socio-cultural aspects our country. We have raised the status of women from the dumb, homely and uneducated to the highly-learned and sophisticated in leaps and bounds, but there in no significant progress in the in-law mentality. An Indian girl has become modern but the in-law mentality has hardly changed. The majority of them are conservative. Had there been comparable metamorphosis in both aspects, failed marriages would be rarely seen.
We have educated the girl, but we have failed to educate the in-laws. You send a girl to the best schools and colleges and give her international exposure. After that the in-laws expect her to be a mute lamb. I’m really surprised by some Indian men and their families who don’t think a woman deserves any marital rights! If you educate a girl she will naturally compare herself with her global counterparts and she will definitely want to be at par with them. She will also come to know about her rights and when you get her married she will definitely start assessing what she has got and what she hasn’t got. Anyways of what use will be big degrees to her, if she won’t be allowed to use them? You’ll be a very cruel parent if you give your daughter a very modern upbringing and then push her into a conservative Indian family. How will your daughter be happy when she belongs to the 21st century and the in-laws belong to the 19th century? Shouldn’t the in-law mentality be of the 21st century to accommodate the views of your daughter, or it should be vice versa.
Since the majority of in-laws want to enjoy their privileges they would want to cling on to their 19th century mindsets. In that case, if you want to see your daughter happy, marry her off as a child. Don’t let her grow because if she’ll see her in-laws penalizing her pappa for dowry, she’ll be pained. A child will be unaware of the hardships her parents have to face in getting her married. At least she’ll be at peace. Also she’ll not bother her in-laws for her rights as she’ll not be aware of them. The in-laws can bring a mute baby lamb and mold her the way they want to. The marriage will be peaceful.
Now, its upon us Indians to decide upon how we’d like to keep our daughters happy – by reforming ourselves to match the pace of development of our daughters, or to throttle the development of our daughters to meet our selfish requirements. Which way would you choose?
Image credit :tricitypsychology
