Domestic Violence – A checklist for Men.

For general public Domestic Violence (DV) means a drunken guy beating his wife. If this is the only picture coming to your mind while talking about violence at home then you are completely wrong.

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As per section 37 of Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (PWDVA), central government has the right to define the “Rules” regarding execution of domestic violence Act. This article is about the definitions or various other offenses, given by Ministry of Women And Child Development through notification in The Gazette of India: Extraordinary on 17th of October, 2006.

The following excerpts are from the form that an aggrieved woman needs to fill out while reporting a domestic incident of violence. So wherever it is mentioned “you” means the aggrieved woman.

Economic violence

Not providing money for maintaining you or your children.

Not providing food, clothes, medicine, etc, for you or your children.

Forcing you out of the house you live in.

Preventing you from accessing or using any part of the house.

Preventing or obstructing you from carrying on your employment.

Not allowing you to take up an employment.

Non payment of rent in case of a rented accommodation.

Not allowing you to use clothes or articles of general household use.

Selling or pawing your stridhan or any other valuables without informing you and without your consent.

Forcibly taking away your income, salary or wages etc.

Disposing your stridhan.

Non payment of other bills such as electricity etc.

Any other economic violence.

Dowry related harassment

Demands for dowry made.

Any other detail with regard to dowry.

Physical violence

Beating

Slapping

Hitting

Biting

Kicking

Punching

Pushing

Shoving

Causing bodily pain or injury in any other manner

Verbal and Emotional Violence

Insults

Accusation/aspersion on your character or conduct etc

Insult for not bringing dowry etc

Insult for not having male child

Insult for not having any child

Demeaning, humiliating or undermining remarks/statements

Ridicule

Name calling

Forcing you to not attend school, college or any other educational institution.

Preventing you from taking up a job.

Preventing you from leaving the house

Preventing you from meeting any particular person.

Forcing you to get married against your will.

Forcing you to get married when you do not want to marry.

Preventing you from marrying a person of your choice.

Forcing you to marry a person of his/their own choice.

Threat to commit suicide

Any other verbal or emotional abuse

Sexual Violence

Forced Sexual Intercourse

Forced to watch pornography or other obscene material

Forcibly using you to entertain others

Any other act of sexual nature, abusing, humiliating, degrading or otherwise violative of your dignity

If any act of domestic violence is committed against you by a person(s) with whom you are/were residing in the same house, you can get all or any of the following orders against the person(s)

(a) Under Section 18:

1. To stop committing any further acts of domestic violence on you or your children;

2. To give you the possession of your stridhan, jewellery, clothes etc.

3. Not to operate the joint bank accounts or lockers without permission of the court

(b) Under Section 19:

1. Not to stop you from residing in the house where you were residing with the person(s)

2. Not to disturb or interfere with your peaceful enjoyment of residence

3. Not to dispose off the house in which you are residing

4. If your residence is a rented property then either to ensure payment of rent or secure any other suitable alternative accommodation which offers you the same security and facilities as earlier residence.

5. Not to give up the rights in the property in which you are residing without the permission of the court.

6. Not to take any loan against the house/property in which you are residing or mortgage it or create any other financial liability involving the property.

7. Any or all of the following orders for your safety requiring the person(s) to

(c) General Order:

1. Stop the domestic violence complained/reported

(d) Special Orders:

1. Remove himself/stay away from your place of residence or workplace;

2. Stop making any attempts to meet you

3. Stop calling you over phone or making any attempts to communicate with you by letter, e-mail etc

4. Stop talking to you about marriage or forcing you to meet a particular person of his/their choice for marriage

5. Stay away from the school of your child/children, or any other place where you or your children visit

6. Surrender possession of fire arms, any other weapons or any other dangerous substance

7. Not to acquire possession of fire arm, any other weapons or any other dangerous substance and not to be in possession of any similar article

8. Not to consume alcohol or drugs with similar effect which led to domestic violence in the past

9. Any other measure required for ensuring your or your children’s safety

(e) An order of interim monetary relief under section 20 and 22 including –

Maintenance for you and your children

Compensation for physical injury including medical expenses

Compensation for mental torture and emotional distress

Compensation for loss of earning

Compensation for loss caused by destruction, damage, removal of any property from your possession or control

Note: - Any of the above relief can be granted on an interim basis, as soon as you make a complaint of domestic violence and present your application for any of the relief before the court.

Alright guys, now tell me how many of you are engaged in domestic violence? Does that make sense when NCW, WCD, UN, UNIFEM etc (most probably you too) saying 70% of women in India face domestic violence? It is not one out of three but three out three women in India are facing domestic violence as per this Rule.

It will cost several pages if I start explaining all the points in the Rules, so I’ll take a couple of simple examples and leave the rest as food for your thoughts.

Eg 1:- “Not allowing you to use clothes or articles of general household use” --- How many of you guys might have told women in your house that “No TV until your exams are done” or “No serials until the cricket match is over”.

Eg 2:- “Not to disturb or interfere with your peaceful enjoyment of residence” ---

If you happen to know that your wife is using your residence for any unlawful activity or meeting with her paramour(s) you most likely want her to move out of the house. But PWDVA ensures that you will be restrained from getting into your own house because you have committed domestic violence based on this poorly drafted unconstitutional Act.

If you never knew that you are committing domestic violence, it is not a valid point because “Ignorantia juris non excusat”; means ignorance of law is not an excuse.

You might think women are committing domestic violence against men when they do one or more acts mentioned in the Rules; then you are totally mistaken. As per this Act women are ALWAYS victims and men are ALWAYS perpetrators.