BANGKOK – A CALCULATOR CITY

By Vincent Van Ross

Bangkok hits you on the head the moment you land there. From the moment you enter the new Suvarnabhumi Airport, you are zapped by the state-of-art technology and infrastructure you experience there. Suvarnabhumi airport is in itself an amazing modern monument. The shopping complex in the airport sells everything short of airplanes. In the last two or three decades, Thailand has made great strides of progress leaving her peers far behind. The freeways, Thai version of our highways, the hotels and new skyscrapers that have mushroomed all over the city are envy of many countries which prided of the west.

By Vincent Van Ross

If you arrive with a Thailand visa from your country, there is nothing like it. If you want a visa on arrival, you fill out a visa form get it numbered, attach a photocopy of your return ticket and await your turn at the counter. You pay the visa fee and then you have to show foreign currency equivalent to US dollar 350 to get a visa on arrival. If you are planning to visit Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam, Myanmar or any other country out of Thailand, please ensure that you arrive with a multi-entry visa. Otherwise, you will have to get a visa on arrival every time you fly back to Thailand and go through the motions over and over again.

Thais are generally very nice and helpful people. They are extra-courteous. If you happen to be a pedestrian crossing a street and you find a long fleet of cars coming your way, don’t confuse the drivers by waiting for them to pass. They think you have the right of way and they would gladly stop their cars for you to cross the street. Language and communication could be a bit of a problem with some. But, still they would listen to you patiently and try to help you if they can.

Unfortunately, one of the first people you come across as you come out of the airport is taxi drivers. And, they are no different from the cabbies you find in this part of the world. If you have no clue as to how much you are supposed to pay to get to the city, you may be fleeced. You may end up paying twice, thrice, four times, or, even five times what you are supposed to pay!

The first time I arrived from Delhi, the driver talked me into paying a thousand bahts for a ride up to the downtown area. When I checked into my hotel, I discovered that I should not have paid more than 350 bahts if all the toll fees adding up to 65 bahts were paid by the driver. The next time, when I returned from my trip to Cambodia, a young girl accosted me with a tariff card for taxis. I studied the tariff card and I found that the highest tariff was 5,000 bahts for a Limousine (the actual fare including toll fees for a Limousine is 1,000 bahts) and the lowest was 1,000 bahts for an ordinary Toyota Corolla taxi with rates in between for Mercedes, etc. By then, I had grown a little more worldly-wise in that part of the world! I walked out of the airport and waved a taxi. “How much…for Hotel Montien?” I queried.

“One thousand bahts…Sir,” the taxi driver responded.

I stepped back and waved him off. But, he was reluctant to move. “How much…how much you pay…Sir?”

“You pay all the toll fees and I pay you 350 bahts,” I offered. He shook his head. After a lot of haggling, we settled for 500 bahts. The thing is, all the taxis that come from the city, come to the departure area of the airport. The ones that come to the arrival area are airport pick-ups booked in advance. Very few taxis come looking for passengers in the arrival area. So, you may have to wait a long time before you get a taxi at a bargain fare. The best way to make sure that you are paying the right tariff is to pay by the meter and add the toll fees if you could make the driver agree to it. If you are traveling by cab in the city, it might pay to turn down the first offer of the cabby. Then, the cabby might make a second offer which would include a visit to a departmental store or a showroom. Whether you buy something or not, he gets a coupon for bringing customers and that makes up for the discount he offers you. So, if you have a little extra time at your disposal, it is not a bad bargain.

Back in the city, there is the Grand Palace of the Thai Royalty that you should not miss. It is more of a museum now but well worth spending some time. There are several Buddhist Pagodas—the three important ones being those that house the Emerald Buddha, the Golden Buddha and the Reclining Buddha. You also have the China Town, the waterways and the floating market. You may see traditional Thai dance performances either at the government cultural centre or at private hotels. Then you have office and shopping complexes along the main streets with wayside shops that appear out of nowhere around noon and vanish into thin air by late evening.

Few cities in the world offer night life like Bangkok. Patpong, the red light district, comes alive at night. While the bars turn into night clubs putting out all kinds of sex shows, a night bazaar comes to life along the bars. By 1am, the bazaar just melts away and you find an ordinary street where there was so much of activity at night. There are more massage parlors than any other kind of shop in the city. Their business extends beyond foot, Thai, Persian oil massage and aromatherapy. Usually, it is the oil message which gets extended into a ‘happy ending’. This is a term most tourists learn and understand once they are in the city.

In Bangkok, you don’t go out looking for sex. If you walk the streets, you would be approached. Sex comes walking up to you in a variety of forms. One of the first things you would hear from the people touting sex is: “Boom-boom, Sir?” Be careful…you know what that means! No…? Don’t tell me you are so naïve! You should be extra careful if someone approaches you with an offer of a “free boom-boom, Sir.” These men operate from inner lanes and by-lanes away from the main streets. Once you get into one of their dens you may be helpless.

If you lend an ear to the guy who solicits clients (I would hate to call him ‘Solicitor!’) for the trade, you would hear a few other things like...ping-pong show, beautiful Thai women, striptease acts and a whole menu of pleasure trips. And, the pimp may even be a beautiful young girl. If you display no interest in these, they may invite you to beer bars. “Have beer, Sir. You pay for the beer and sex shows are for free,” they would offer. To some extent that is true. But, again, be careful. You may end up paying several times the price of the beer if you do not check the price before you place your order. If you get fleeced, you can always call the tourist police and get a part-refund of the amount paid in excess. But, that is embarrassing and time-consuming.

People may label Bangkok as a sin city but there is no eve teasing on the streets. There is no misbehavior in the lanes and by-lanes. Women feel safe. Any time of the day and any time of the night. Even those who practice the world’s oldest profession are treated with respect. This is the sign of an evolved society where people who are themselves secretly immoral do not impose morality on others.

About 60 per cent of the tourists you find in Bangkok are Indians. Americans, Europeans and others from the West make up about 20 per cent of the tourists. The other 20 per cent comprises people from other Asian countries and Africa. Most of the hotels are designed according to American tastes and standards. Some have started accommodating Indian requirements. The composition of the tourist traffic to Bangkok is changing. More and more Indians are heading out to Thailand.

Right now, the spending power of an average Indian is much less than that of an American. Americans earn in dollars and spend in dollars. Indians, on the other hand, earn in rupees and have to spend in dollars. But, the spending power of Indians is growing constantly. When the Government of Thailand and the hospitality industry realizes that there is more inflow of dollars from Indians than all the other communities put together, the tourism industry may have to take a note of it and begin to cater to the tastes and preferences of Indian tourists.

You may hear Thais speaking of ‘Farangs’ in hushed tones. This is a term they use to describe foreigners—especially from the West. It is not unusual to find a sixty-year-old or a seventy-year-old Westerner walking around holding the hand of a beautiful young Thai girl in her late teens or early 20s. Escort service is common in Thailand. Most of the tourism magazines provide contact addresses and phone numbers for escort services.

You would not come across too may policemen in the city. But, if something goes wrong, swarms of cops would converge on the scene out of nowhere. The ‘mafia’ is not too apparent in Bangkok though probably is a well-oiled mafia network operating in the city. Particularly, in view of the large scale flesh trade that takes place in the city. It is also rumored that the mafia runs some large business joints. Your ears may pick up this word “mafia” from “tuk-tuk” (the Thai word for ‘auto rickshaw’) drivers. If you have your antenna in the right place, you may be able to tune in to more information on that. But, it is almost invisible. The areas of their activities seem to be clearly demarcated. So, they do not step on the toes of the police and the police do not step on their toes. An average Thai is a law abiding citizen. There is fear of law in the city. And, they seem to respect both the laws.

Thais are happy-go-lucky sort of people. They are mild tempered and refuse to be irritated or drawn into a quarrel. At least, I did not come across a single instance of argument. Most Thais eat out at wayside makeshift restaurants that arrive in a tuk-tuk or a pick-up van. The tuk-tuk or the pick-up van is parked in a by-lane and the tables, stools, cookware and crockery are quickly transferred to the sidewalks. Within a few minutes you find a wayside restaurant where there was none. Most of these shops come up in front of huge departmental stores and offices. But, none of them seem to mind this. Apart from tuk-tuk, taxis (mainly Toyota, Honda and Nissan cars) and buses, Bangkok has a metro which moves at least 20 feet above the ground. Unlike Delhi Metro, it does not travel at ground level or become a subway. That is why it is called the “Sky Train.”

Bangkok is a shopper’s paradise. There are huge departmental stores like the MBK and the Tokio where you find literally everything you want to buy. You have the Sunday Bazaar with hundreds of permanent structures which makes you wonder as to why this market opens only on Sundays. And, you have other wayside shops and curios to shop around as well.

Young girls run most of the shops. The number of men you find on the street would be fewer than the number of girls. Men are usually engaged in heavy work such as the army, police or security services, construction industry etc. That explains the poor ratio of men to women in streets.

There is one more thing. In front of most of the Thai offices, shops and homes, you find a small shrine mostly made of wood with images of the Buddha and other deities. These are shrines for the spirit of the land. According to local beliefs, a spirit resides on every piece of land. Hence the spirit must be propitiated before the construction begins. Or, it is considered to be inauspicious. And, the shrine of the spirit is worshipped everyday and offerings are made in the form of food and drinks. Incense sticks and lights are also lit by way of offerings.

When you enter a shop in Bangkok and ask for the price of a product, the salesgirl hunts for her calculator. And, she quickly punches in the price on the calculator. She would never tell you the price verbally. And, if you say…“too much,” she would hand over the calculator to you for punching in your offer. If you offer a ridiculously low price, she would not get angry. Nor would she get irritated. You would see helplessness in her eyes as she pleads: “Cannot, Sir. I make no profit.” Then she would grab the calculator and punch in her lowest quote. If you still insist on a lower price, she would say: “I am not the boss, Sir…Cannot, Sir...we are just staff.” You want to find out who the boss is. And, she would tell you politely: “Boss no come here, Sir.” Then you suddenly realize that the girl you were haggling with really had no authority to sell below a certain price.

It is amazing…but that is how these departmental stores work. The employees get the stock and they are given a minimum price for each item. They get a commission on everything they sell. If they manage to sell these items at a higher price, whatever they get over and above the minimum price is their profit. That is what they are calculating all the time—their profit, in addition to their commission! Whatever they do, calculators are an integral part of their business and they cannot do without calculators. If there is one thing that Thais don’t want to do, it is getting into an argument. The calculator solves that problem. After all, there is no scope for confusion when the amounts are punched into a calculator. If you observe closely, you will see that Bangkok is truly a calculator city!