Art is just like Fart without the F

I was in a haze staring at my monitor when I had this phantom scenario in my head one morning, where me and a couple of friends were in a round table chatting and sipping drinks, trying to unwind at a pub after a day’s work. Among us was this fellah which I can’t recognize who he was, out of the blue asked me a question, “What is art?” Whoa! Apparently, this person wants to have a glimpse of my meaning of art. As phantom as it was, I being in the scene, I felt smacked hard right in the center of my forehead. I think I saw my head bobbed back and forth as I was being rammed by the serious questioning. No one has ever asked me that plain yet abstract and so broad a question as I recall it, and I don’t think someone will ask that kind of question to anyone, even to an artist… perhaps in an exam in an art school… but in a pub!?!

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Then the scenario turned into a folly skit in my head. There I was explaining to this stranger, with my friends attentively waiting for my answer, what I think art is, I stammered, “Umm… Art is… Well… Uhh… Art is just like Fart without the letter F.” They all cackled and somewhat puzzled if I’m being serious or not, and deciphering the connection between the two. I went on further, elaborating on my absurd answer, complete with an animated explanation.

This is what stress and lack of nourishment in the morning can do to someone. I can’t remember if I’m having the hallucination, while at the same time, concentrating and doing work on the computer. I’m not sure if that’s even possible, all I know is that, it was so lucid that I can still remember the entire exchange of dialogue.

Art. What is art? The art that I know today is commercial art. I’m in the commercial art business for a couple of years now, and with what’s happening in the world market today, I’m not going to say more about how bad the business is doing right now, particularly here in the country, maybe that is why I’m having such phantom skits playing in my head. I know… I know… traditional artist are wincing right now, trying not to vomit right after reading the words ‘commercial art’.

But isn’t it all art commercial art, every time you make a profit out of it? For those who condemn it, then being an artist (especially in fine arts) is never going to be a profession nor anyone can make a living out of it, but it would just be a mere hobby.

In the world of commercial art where all my masterpieces go, I on the other hand, am at a limbo at the moment. I miss creating art and art-like pieces just for fun and purely of my own. I miss getting dirty with paints and other messy materials, and anything that I can get hold of and use. I have no idea why I couldn’t find time for that anymore. Not that I often do it before, because when I was in art school, dabbing a paintbrush on a heavily color coated palette muddled with assortment of paints, is the least that I wanted to do. Now, every day, as I look at my monitor and shift my mouse here, there and everywhere, I kind of miss the brush thing.

A friend told me about a site which I can finally once again make art without using the mouse. When I first saw the site, it was calling all Filipino artists to participate in THE COVERS PROJECT. Without any hesitation, even with three days to go before the deadline, I conjured up my art wands and magically produced two artworks in a whiz, and submitted it to them. Even though I’m not going to receive any payment for it, I’m ecstatic to have participated. It’s going to be a long wait to really see the outcome of my participation in the project, but nevertheless, I’m looking forward to see my artworks as covers. I’ve been informed that it’s going to be on the first issue! So, I’ll keep my fingers crossed until I see it myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I doodle and sketch (to have a break from staring at my monitor and for my own little amusement), and sometimes make senseless continuous swirling motion with my pencil on a piece of paper that I can find littering around my desk, until it’s all covered with black lead, but that’s about it. After I’ve submitted works for THE COVERS PROJECT, it dawned to me that I would like to have my own art show. Well, the idea of it has been swimming in my head for far too long a time now. It started a little after I’ve graduated college, and originally, it’s an exhibit with some of my friends from art school. I think I’m going to start to contemplate on it now. So where shall I find funds for this massive art show… Will I sell or will I not… Or will I sell out? But first, would it be interesting enough for people to even want it and buy it? Well, maybe if I’ll title the show, “Fart, and other disasters.” Hmm… sounds family, I mean familiar…

…Ok, so someone passed gas in an enclosed area. Would you be in any way be impressed with that? With sound or no sound, the silent killer kind of fart or the loud explosive type, I’m pretty sure the creator will be the only one smirking after having a whiff of it. Just like in an art show, the artist could be the only one proud and pleased with all of his displayed works, while there may be one or two artworks that will make everyone else, raise one of their eyebrows, and maybe bellow… “What the F@#!% is that?!?”

And in my own definition of what art is, maybe that would be the F part of it.