7 murders excused

POLITICAL LESSONS FOR MANAGERS

An MBA student from an IIM did his internship with a political party! His intention was to get a first hand understanding of how politics works and how politicians function. He told me that he was serious about making a career in politics with a view to bringing about change for the better. ‘Politics is too serious a matter to be left to politicians alone’ he thundered . ‘I intend bringing professionalism and management concepts into politics’ said he with the fired up look that one sees in the eyes of a revolutionary.

POLITICAL LESSONS FOR MANAGERS

Three months later I met him and asked about his experience and what he had learnt/taught.

He took out a projector and made a power point presentation. I shall cite only a few of his findings here.

The boy—let’s call him Ashok—was first asked to undergo an Induction programme in which he was taken on a tour of the important offices and ‘shakhas’ of the party and met most of the ‘ netas’. He had to then listen to lectures from the top people. Thereafter he made a presentation to the leaders on how many management concepts and practices could usefully be introduced into the party.

What Ashok found strange was that every time he introduced a management concept he would be told that ‘we are already aware of this and have already implemented it’.

For example when Ashok talked of Six Sigma the political affairs committee chief retorted ‘we always give a ticket to a candidate who has done 6 things that would be considered a stigma in any other society.We call this the SIX STIGMA INITIATIVE’

When Ashok talked about even the film industry becoming very professionalized the party chief commented that not only did the party order all its office bearers to see every Bollywood film but in the forthcoming elections the party will draw lessons from the Vishal Bhardwaj film that is now running to packed houses .

‘Pray what lessons did the film offer?” asked Ashok innocently.

‘We have decided to give tickets to candidates who have at least 7 murder cases against them’ said the neta in charge of ticket distribution in UP and Bihar.

‘I am not sure I have understood you’ said Ashok.

‘7 khoon maaf’ replied the chief without batting an eyelid.

Last evening I visited him at his home in a farm outside a city. Ashok was clad in a vest and dirty dhoti, sitting on a charpoy and behind him were several cows chewing fodder.

Looking at my quizzical look the hitherto blazer clad Ashok first spat out paan on to his crony’s palm and said ‘I have been given a ticket to fight the next elections.’

K.R.RAVI

WWW.KRRAVI.COM